something lost something found
by xann-blackstar
Summary: Sandy had a little girl but when she dies her father changes...and when he begins to hurt her guess where she ends up
1. ONE

Disclaimer: ya know I wish I owned S.E. Hinton's masterpiece but I really, really don't and I'm just playing on Hinton's playground.  
  
PG-13 rateing for mild language use and child abuse (tis rhymes oh joy I'm a poet)  
  
Better summary: a Sandy had a child and it turned out that Soda was the father when Sandy dies guess who turns up on sodas doorstep…  
  
Ok time to start the story you came here to read (unless of course you came here by mistake then I'm sorry. You have the wrong story.)  
  
XXX  
  
Seven years had passed since sandy had left. Seven long years. It can change a guy I guess.  
  
But not me not the now twenty four Soda pop Curtis.   
  
Pony, Darry, Steve and even Jonny had kids Dally was all to cold hearted to take care of kids though he'd softened up a bit over the years. I had two nieces and five nephews. Two of 'em were twins.  
  
I hadn't married I didn't have any kids. But the way that those kids hung off me you'd think that I was their daddy.  
  
But sometimes I wondered.. what It would be like for me to have a kid of my own. I hate wondering sometimes. Because god hears our thoughts.  
  
XXX  
  
I was scared to say the least Mommy was gone. She'd been dead about a year. In that year daddy had changed. He'd always been rough with me. But I thought he didn't mean it.  
  
But when mommy was gone it was like daddy had never loved me  
  
He called me a bitch and he hit me told me that I never should have been born. He called mommy a slut…..  
  
Ever since she'd died my room had been a beautiful place for me. I had started to read a lot more and I got real quiet.   
  
Then one night daddy came home late. I was asleep on the couch and my book had slipped knocking over the last of his drink. Daddy got really mad at me and he beat me something good. Well I ran off all I had with me was a book. And a note mommy had left me explaining everything.  
  
So here I was at my fathers.. Could I call him my father? Well anyways I was in Tulsa Oklahoma and I was eight and I was cut up and bruised. Boy was I a sight to see…  
  
I knocked once softly then twice again until the door opened. There he was standing there just like in the picture mommy had. I gulped as my voice stuck in my throat.  
  
"um 'scuse me is this where Soda pop Curtis lives?"  
  
My voice was quiet and hoarse and I probably sounded like I'd been crying. My daddy. I guess I could call him daddy for now dropped down to my level.  
  
"can I help ya kid?"  
  
He asked with a grin. I liked his smile It was real nice. I nodded some I was real afraid that he wouldn't believe me but I guessed I could show him mommies letter   
  
"uhm.. This should explain it."  
  
I said quickly opening up my book and handing him the letter. He took it in his hands and then looked up at me he looked surprised. And kept muttering things to himself  
  
"the baby was mine….she got married…"  
  
I just sorta stood there holding the book I'd left with in my hands a picture of him and mommy was in it. The only thing left of her.  
  
He looked up at me and I looked down at the ground cause I knew he could see what daddy had done I must've looked real scared cause he tilted up my face some and smiled at me  
  
"hey you're safe here kiddo, I'll bet you're tired it takes a long time to get from Florida to here. We can talk about this when you've had some sleep ok?"  
  
I nodded some and followed him into the house. It was a little small but not so much as the apartment daddy and me shared. He brought me up a flight of stairs and down a hallway to what looked like a spare room.  
  
"do you have any clothes with ya hun?"  
  
He asked looking down at me.  
  
I shook my head and smiled at him some. He was real nice and he was treating me like I was family right away.  
  
"no I don't have anything.. I can sleep in the clothes I have on though"  
  
I said still quietly as I looked around the room.  
  
It wasn't yucky or anything it was actually kinda nice. The walls were plain white and there was a bed pushed into the corner. A small dresser was under a window that looked out over a vacant lot.   
  
"nah I have a niece sleeps over all the time she's got some PJ's here you can borrow I'm sure she wont mind."  
  
He said he was still smiling as he handed me a pair and showed me where the bathroom was so I could get changed. I quietly changed into the silky pink PJ's.  
  
And looked at myself in the mirror. I really looked like a homeless kid. My hair was all messy and my eyes were red rimmed from crying. Cuts ran along my face along with a lota bruises. And I couldn't help but wonder  
  
What was gonna happen to me? 


	2. TWO

Okies.. WOW! So many reviews I opened up my email box and my mouth dropped open.  
  
So's thanks to these people:  
  
Karlei Shaynner: I'm so glad that you think this is good! I tried to come up with something original for ya'll. And I hope this chapter is as good as the last  
  
Lili: lol I'm glad you like the story , and I'm glad I'm not the only one who can see him taking care of a child!  
  
Dollwithouteyes: thanks! I'm glad you think so  
  
Naria4: thanks so much! I'm glad ya'll think it's so good! And here's the next chapter for yas.  
  
Disclaimer: still playing on Hinton's playground WONDERFUL place.  
  
XXX  
  
~later that night~  
  
I read and re read this letter trying to make sense of it all. This is how it goes.  
  
To: My Dearest Daughter, whom I will love and never forget.  
  
Honey there are a few things you need to know when I'm gone.  
  
First no matter what anybody says I love you and always have.  
  
And though, this may shock you daddy, is not daddy.  
  
But I guess that doesn't make sense does it? You see honey before I came to Florida I had a boyfriend.  
  
His name was Soda Pop (yes, Hun, his real name) Soda Pop Curtis.  
  
You have to understand this is hard for me to tell you, but I loved him.  
  
With my heart and my very soul, but I wasn't allowed to see him.  
  
And I was sent here. Before I was sent here I was all ready pregnant with you….  
  
So you see daddy isn't your real daddy. Soda is. But no matter what I love you and so does daddy.  
  
And Soda would too. He'd love you very, very much.   
  
The second thing you need to know is about your grand parents.  
  
You never met them and were told they were dead. Hun I am so, so sorry.  
  
They aren't. you see when I married Daddy I was doing the very thing they didn't want.  
  
I was Marrying some guy from a bad neighborhood.  
  
They refused to have any contact with me or you or Daddy.  
  
But honey they love you, and they would be proud of you  
  
Your Grand parents and father are in Tulsa, Tulsa Oklahoma.  
  
Sodas Address is as follows: 167 cian Lane Tulsa Oklahoma 02945.  
  
I can not give you your grand parents. They night refuse to see you and I would hate for that to happen.  
  
I love you. No matter what you are my baby girl, for now and for ever.  
  
Love always  
  
Mama.  
  
She'd said she still loved me, but did she mean it? Or was it just to reassure her- or our kid?  
  
I sighed and Ran my hands through my hair standing up to go and check on her.  
  
Opening the door a crack I found her asleep on top of the blankets. Curled up in a little ball the book held tightly to her chest. I smiled and almost laughed.  
  
She was what seven - eight? And all ready she reminded me of Pony.  
  
Watching her roll over and murmur something in her sleep I folded up her letter placing it on the dresser.  
  
Then, taking a blanket that was folded at the end of the bed I draped it over her.  
  
For a second I looked at her. It was an odd thing, I knew I loved Sandy The second I saw her. It was that same thing here. The second she showed up on my doorstep, like a gift from god I knew she was mine. And I knew I loved her.  
  
XXX  
  
~next morning girls point of view~  
  
(A/N I want you to know her name is kept secret till now for a reason why you may ask because I wanted to do it that way I may answer)  
  
I was awake. I didn't want to be awake.  
  
Being awake meant that Daddy would be there to hurt me again.  
  
Being awake meant Mommy wouldn't be there to protect me.  
  
But most of all being awake meant I would be alone again. In a world that was much less then kind.  
  
My favorite saying has always been that the world is a cold and cruel place, Mars is much better.  
  
Because of that Mars has always been my favorite planet. My room was decorated with huge posters of it. And my shelves were full of books on mars and space travel. Both things held a sort of obsession to me. Because to be in space meant to be far away from daddy. It also meant being closer to heaven where mommy was. Daddy always told me she was in hell. He always said that she was burning. That that beautiful white dress she was buried in was burning. And that she was a prostitute in hell. I never really knew what a prostitute was. But I assumed it was something bad since daddy never said anything nice about her ever.  
  
Finally my brain wouldn't think any more and I slowly opened one eye then the other. I sat up a dark blue blanket falling off of me silence met my ears and for a moment I panicked. Had daddy come in the night and done something to my room? I looked down at the pair of pink PJ's I was wearing an all the memories came back.  
  
Groaning I fell back onto my pillow face down and cried. What was I stupid? Why did I come here? Daddy would wanna look for me…right? If only to beat me again he would wanna look for me. And I was here at my real Daddies house. And I knew next to nothing about him and mommy was dead.  
  
Ten minutes later I sat up my breath was shaky and my face felt hot. Standing I walked down the hall quiet like. It was a habit daddy always slept late. Till around noon. Around then I'd be at the library. Quietly I shut the bathroom door and locked it. I quickly washed my face. And changed back into my clothes. I would hear something down stairs it sounded like the radio or the T.V. or even both.  
  
Slipping out of the bathroom I walked quietly downstairs to only sigh that I was coming was the soft tune I was humming. I stopped a little short when I reached the door. What looked like a blonde elf was sitting at the table. His blue eyes were cold and hard and it looked like he'd seen too much in all the time he lived. But mostly he looked like daddy.  
  
Not in his physical looks, but in the way he held him self. His movements and especially his eyes. A little cold, deceiving, but most of all they were numb. No emotion was seen in them. Just blank Blue. It was like a picture I had once seen in a book. The iceberg fields of Antarctica. There was solid calm frigid water with pieces of cool gray ice jutting up here and there.  
  
I was so wrapped up In my thoughts I almost didn't see him look up at me. I sure felt it though. He had daddies stare too. Even when you couldn't see him you sure knew he was looken at you those eyes bore into you and they could choose to see right through you if that's what their owner wanted.  
  
"this the lil broad you were tellen me 'bout soda?"  
  
His voice was carefully neutral. And numb. As if he didn't want to reveal to much about what his real thoughts or feelings (if he had any) were.  
  
"yea it is and shut up Dally she's a little kid not a broad now get your sorry ass outta here"  
  
I smiled and almost laughed. This man, or Dally as my Dad had called him sure didn't seem like one who would take a comment like that. He seemed like the kinda guy who would turn around and belt who ever even dared to look at him funny right in the head. But he didn't. instead his elfish face softened. Not a lot. But enough for him to laugh some.  
  
"ya know if you weren't Darrys kid brother I'd beat the tar outta you"  
  
But it was an empty threat and we all knew it. Never the less. The blue eyes blonde haired elf walked out the kitchen door, just as chocolate cake was placed on the table.  
  
"come and eat Hun, you look like you haven't had a decent meal in a long time"  
  
I sat still eyeing that cake it looked real good, and he was right, I hadn't been eating real great, I'd blown what money I had taken from my daddy on a ticket to get here. And there wasn't too much room for food. But still I was surprised to see cake on the table, even more surprised when he put some on a plate and put it in front of me.  
  
"you have cake for breakfast?"  
  
I asked in total awe. The best I had eaten since mommy had died was some half frozen pancakes from a box when dad was in a good mood one day.  
  
He just laughed and nodded   
  
"yea actually I do since I was a kid"  
  
I laughed. It was funny really how he could get me to do that. Normally it take hours to loosen me up. But he could do it in minutes. With just a grin and simple things like having cake for breakfast. Something I guessed I would get used to easily. Seeing as I loved chocolate.  
  
I took a bit and it tasted just as good as I remembered. We had breakfast talking about easy nice things until we were finished and the dishes were in the sink. We were facing each other now in chairs in his living room and he'd just asked me the hardest question ever.  
  
"why are you here?   
  
It wasn't mean or unwelcoming like he didn't want to see me but something about that made me nervous to even speak.  
  
"well..the letter said mommy died"  
  
I began and that launched my story  
  
"before she was married like she said. And I really thought that the man mommy was married to loved me."  
  
I refused to call the 'man mommy had married' my father. He wasn't daddy any more. And he would never me. The man in front of me was a better father then him and I had only known him a little over twelve hours.  
  
"but he didn't"  
  
The statement came out quiet and harsh. Like I was mad at him. And I realized that I was. I was madder then I had ever been in my whole entire life. I was mad at the man I had once called a father for even pretending to love my mother. For hitting me and hurting me and making me sad and I was mad at me for wasting tears on him.  
  
"when mommy died of leukemia he got mad at me. He told me I didn't deserve to live. I was a slut a bitch a fucking whore a bastard and whatever else he could think up when he was mad. Or drunk he told me mommy was rotting in hell and when he got mad he hit me, hard. He'd push me down the stairs or throw bottles and glass at me. I ended up having to lock my doors at night because he came in one time and tried to burn all my books. Then one night I got him mad. Real, real mad. I didn't mean to. I had just fallen asleep, and dropped my book. It tipped over his last drink in the whole house and he just… blew a gasket he hit me really, really hard and I guess he would have killed me but I ran. Down the fire escape. And now I'm here…..talking to you……."  
  
My voice cracked and without realizing it my head went into my arms and I was crying again. I wasn't sad I was angry at that man I hated him for putting me through that for everything in the world. Before I knew what was happening My father, yes I was calling him father now. He was the only one who truly fit the role currently. Anyways he was holding me like mommy used to when I cried.  
  
And the best part was he let me cry. He didn't call me a baby or say anything he just let me cry into his shoulder his arms wrapped around me rocking me slightly. And it was like I knew him. It was as If he was an old toy who had bed lost under the bed for years. Then one day it got found and the love for that toy was rekindled. And there was nothing you could do BUT love it. And love it with your whole self.  
  
XXX  
  
I felt bad for the little girl crying in my lap. And I felt worse because this was MY daughter who that bastard had hit around eventually she calmed down  
  
"I hate him"  
  
She said fiercely. She was still in my lap sitting with her legs over the side of mine my arms around her  
  
" I'm sorry you had to go through all that baby but Like I said you're safe here"  
  
The look she gave me of pure surprise delight and love was enough to melt even Dallys insides and I'm sure in the future it would.  
  
"you- you mean I can stay?"  
  
Her tone was full of awe and I'm pretty sure she had herself convinced it was a one night thing and I be scolding her right about now sending her back to a father who drank and beat her. I wouldn't send her back. She was rightfully my daughter, maybe not legally but morally she was mine and I intended to keep her  
  
"Baby I wouldn't let you go back there even if you wanted to go"  
  
She grinned at me like a reflection of myself eighteen years ago. Her eyes where they had been a dull and sad angry brown before were lit up like a sky on the fourth of july looking reckless and happy all at once.she threw her arms around her neck and hugged me  
  
"thank you thank you thank you!"  
  
I laughed  
  
"one question you still havent told me your name yet"  
  
She blushed a little   
  
"oh I guess I forgot I'm real sorry, it's Princess"  
  
XXX  
  
(a/n so weird I'm way more into this story then I thought I'd be seeing as I have two other but I luuuuuv this one ne ways ya! Enjoy) 


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